When I was a kid, I do remember my Mom sharing to me her belief on someone she called “God“.
She taught me that He is a celestial, supreme being who created everything- the sun, the moon, the stars, the Earth, the universe, and even humans like me. She told me how divine and powerful He is, and the extravagant love He has for people, for me.
My mother instructed me that every time I wake up in the mornings and before sleeping at nights, I should pray to Him. The same in before eating meals. Most of all, she told me to be good ’cause He is always watching from up above. As a kid with overflowing innocence, I accepted everything she said and believed on “God” too. You know when you’re in that stage, all you’re gonna do is to perceive everything that is taught to you. But as I grow up, I tend to question everything, including “God”.
“I need evidence to prove that He really is real and the story about Him is true. I need affirmation in order for me to genuinely accept Him in my life.”
Then it all came up to me one day, in my not-so-big bedroom. I do recall that I’m there in a corner, hugging a pillow and crying. It was all because of a big problem I’m enduring on that time, where I got to a point that I’m almost giving up. I knew on that very moment that I am shattering into broken pieces, lost in despair, tremendous sadness and miserable pain. I can say that throughout my entire life, it really is the major nightmare I ever had. I want to escape, but I do not know the way out. Then something came up on me. A thought, a feeling, suddenly popped out of nowhere, and this is what it says,
“Hey! Veronica. It’s okay. Everything has a reason and whatever it is, it’s for your own good. You’ll see later on that the pain is worth the jar of tears. You’re not alone in this. He sees you. He doesn’t want you to get hurt but he LET this happen for a reason. Trust Him, he got you.”
…and on that very instance, I concluded that He is real. God do exists!
‘Cause first, where in the universe did that thought came from? Second, why did I strongly felt that all of those were true? Yes, I felt it in the deepest chambers of my heart. That what the voice whispered to me are all nothing but the truth. Third, why the thought of giving up everything on His hands, I surrendering myself to Him, makes me feel a distinct sense of security. That I’m in the RIGHT hands. That it was what it really should be in the first place. It felt like, it was how things in this chaotic world of us should really be.
Maybe He really is true… yes! He is!
… and that is how I got to know Him the hard way.
As time passed by, I learned more about Him by reading lot of books, articles, watching the SUPERBOOK series and etc.It powerfully felt the same- that what they say about God are genuine truths.
P.S. My Mama is right after all.