I had my genuine body acceptance a long time ago, and it was an exhausting journey…but totally worth it. Though, there are still times when my insecurity comes back even if I already dealt with it before.

To be frankly honest, there are moments when I am still awkward with how my body looks like. I still have this ‘standard body’ image in my head, and know that my own figure is definitely not even close. Like our society, the ideal for me will be a tall frame with skinny arms and legs, flat stomach, big tits and large butt. Now, if you look at me, you’ll see a woman in a girl’s body. My height has always been my No. 1 insecurity. At an age of 18, I have been stuck at 4’11”. I am not skinny, but I can’t also say I’m totally chubby because even if I have distinct flesh, I have a really small frame.

Most people and the Body Mass Index calculation tell that I belong to the ‘normal’ category. But as you can see, even though the BMI says I’m normal, I sometimes can’t feel it. I still look up to celebrities and models and know in the back of my mind that that’s the body I want. I have always wanted to be tall and lean, not to be small and a bit curvaceous. I have always been uncomfortable having this body. It’s hard to explain, but this not being what the society approves is the No. 1 reason why. I think it’s also because I don’t want to be called ‘cute’ because I’m done with it. I wanted to be called ‘beautiful’, but having this curvy body with a somewhat big butt added to my ‘baby face’…oh! ‘Cute’ has always been the No. 1 compliment to me ever since the world began.

Back to the time of my sincere body acceptance, I have learned a lot of things and the most powerful realization will be…

“God made us different from each other. If we are all the same, then the world will be boring.”

We are intended to have unique bodies from one another. If we are all skinny, then this will only be a black and white world. Fuck the society for being biased with only one body type. Love all bodies! Everyone is beautiful and amazing! These are the things I’m trying to remember every time insecurity knocks on my door again. Believe me it’s hard, but I’m trying my very best.

Last day, I did a photoshoot with Eli Robles and Ley Shane Jimeno for my blog. They’re both my former high school friends. After the shoot, we visited our Alma Mater. Ma’am Rowena Piores, our former Science teacher way back in our Freshman days, complimented my body and said “She’s sexy now, long ago she doesn’t have any curves.” This statement has intensified more my realizations before.

There are people who are not blinded with the society’s norms. There are people who can see beauty in you. There are people who can see beauty in everything. This post is not to undermine skinny, thin people. This is a post that visualizes a world where there are no right body and wrong ones. A world where both skinny and curvy are both damn hot! I know there will come times when I will body shame myself again, but I will fight those raging thoughts!!!

P.S. Let us all strive to be healthy because that’s what’s the most important of all.

P.P.S. I made this post because I was also inspired by a blog post I read from BeautyBeyondBones 👏👏👏

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