Just when you thought that all the games are over, life makes you see that hell is a place just around the corner.
- Life doesn’t tell you right away if this person, whom you just saw or met today, will be a huge part of your life (sometimes to the point that they will induce a change in you—so big that it actually hurts when you lose them).
He will make you think about things that you didn’t care about before. Because he’s strongly opinionated, you just can’t help but see things in his perspective. In turn, you come out standing for your own new beliefs too. He listens to the kind of music that gets to your nerves, but because of him, you learn to make time to understand the lyrics and the story behind them. He speaks a kind of language that’s foreign to you, but you easily adapted and now it seems like it’s part of your nature.
And the most significant part is that you like this change in you. It’s like finding out a new world that you didn’t know is existing— that even though it’s irrelevant to you, you don’t mind visiting it every now and then, even if he already ended any connection he has with you.
- Life won’t tell you if you’re about to be used. No, it doesn’t warn. It doesn’t flash a red sign when someone is about to use you for instant gratification, or to battle with their own insecurity, or to assure their ego.
The thing is, you aren’t sorry for doing the things that you did because you did them from a place of substance. You said the things that you said because they’re just true and that you see nothing wrong with saying them to him. You compromised a lot of your time so he can have a space in your life and you can have a space in his, but you aren’t sorry for doing that because you did that from a place of genuine interest.
But most of the time, some people can just easily wipe you away from their life after they get what they want or need from you.
- Life isn’t sensitive enough.
He will casually blurt out words that will forever be marked on your mind and heart as the most deadly words ever said to you. And you’re there like a punching bag, absorbing all at once, but you keep a smiling face because if you show you’re hurt then it means you hoped for something else. And if he knew you hoped for something else, you lose.
He will say things as if you don’t have feelings or he doesn’t, or maybe he’s just completely unaware he’s doing it.
- Life is a notorious kill joy.
For quite a long time, he will be there—saying the things that will make your heart flutter; being there to support you, help you, guide you; unknowingly being your shoulder to lean on during those times when you just want to fall down because of a lot of things you’re carrying on your back. He literally became one of your happy pills.
Then one day, he’s gone. Faster than a blink of an eye. Faster than a millisecond. And you will be left wondering with your memories of him—slowly fading like water from the sea that you cupped with your bare hands, “What went wrong?”
After that, you’ll realize that nothing went wrong. Nothing. Went. Wrong. It’s just that most of the time, the saying that “When you’re so happy, you should be ready because something awful will follow” is just true.
- Life will still give you barely the minimum of what you truly deserve, even if you’ve done everything that you must do.
You will say all the things that he wants to hear. You will do the things that he wants to see. You will listen to his dreams, anecdotes and problems. You will try to make him talk about his passions and his greatest desires. You will literally and figuratively go out of your way to make things happen. All that because you want to make things work out for the two of you. But at the end of the day, you’ll realize that you did all those things with authenticity and not just to get him to be close to you.
At the end of it all, you’ll realize that you really had set your heart out there—willing to really love any moment now, but no, he doesn’t want your heart.
- Life will find a way to make you feel that finally, this is it. The search is over. But then it’s a false alarm and there’s nothing more to say about this because the pain speaks for itself.
- Life usually masks every person that comes to your life. You won’t know firsthand who they really are.
He will surprise you that he’s capable of doing some terrible things. He looks so angelic that you didn’t see some things coming your way. You didn’t see that he can totally ignore you like you never existed in this world before, or that he can act like nothing actually sparked between the two of you. You didn’t see him being a total jerk by using you on his spare time and when the things or people he’s been waiting for finally comes back to his life, you’re back to being “no one” again.
- Life, no matter how much pain you’ve endured, will still make you feel a sense of hope.
He may not be seeing you in the same light you’re seeing him, but you still hope anyway. Hope to save the friendship because you know, deep in your heart, that you two will make the best friends this world could ever know.
You will soon realize that it’s not life’s fault nor his nor yours. It’s just that you’re meant to lose and fail a couple of times while you’re here in this world. It sucks. It actually sucks to the point that you can’t help but laugh because after all the countless people you lost before, here comes an addition to your pitiful list. A big congratulations for a new record!
“But always remember that a broken heart is a good sign. Why? A broken heart means you tried. You may have fallen badly now and you’re full of disappointments, but at least, you hoped for something. And hoping about it means you’re capable of love. And love is the noblest thing in the world.”