To all of you who suddenly wake up one day, finally realizing that your present is being haunted by something from the far past, this blog post is for you.
When it finally hits you that you have unresolved issues with your childhood, the first thing that might happen is for you to panic. It is something big, so I can’t blame you. But despite how fearful it is, you have to celebrate for you just acknowledged something that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible.
You can’t deal with something you didn’t know.
The first step is acknowledgement. Acknowledgement that there is an issue and even if it is not fine for quite a long time now, it will be. It is better than not knowing that your younger years have accumulated toxicity that is affecting aspects of your life now.
You see, each story is different. You may have a neglected childhood or daddy issues. Whatever it is, bear in mind that it is a battle and in a battle, you are not alone.
Here comes the next step which is opening up. And guess who you should open up this stuff to? Your parents. As hard as it seems, there is no other way. You have to tell them what you have been thinking. You have to tell them how you have come up with the conclusion that your childhood has been slightly tainted or fully messed up. In doing so, you must be distinct and careful with details. Remember that your parents will initially be in shock and this will be a hard subject matter for them as well.
Finally, the active healing. Once you have identified what really happened and the effects that your childhood wounds have been doing to you now, you must be brave to stand up. Heal! Heal! Heal! How? I can’t tell of a definite formula that applies to all because, like what I just said, each story is unique. So do your own thing. Face your childhood trauma and heal it right there; right from the very spot where it started.
If you have daddy issues, talk to your Father. Sort things out. Ask for forgiveness if necessary, but also forgive. There is just no way around it. If peace and healthy life is what you are gearing for, hate and anger are two of the things that you need to throw away. After talking, make some time to bond with him or just understand him as a person. Relate to him. Connect with him. You set the terms or you set how you are going to make things happen. It is on you.
If your parents neglected you as a kid, tell them. Again, ask for forgiveness if necessary and forgive as well.
There is so much more that I want to say, but this topic is just very broad. But let me leave you with this: once you know that you are being fucked up by deep-seated wounds from your childhood, you must act as soon as possible. Why? In order to save yourself from more tragedies. And whether you are ready to let go of these wounds or not, you need to deal with them for your own sanity. You have no choice.
It’s going to be alright. Just hang in there and you will get through all of this. I promise you, healing can happen.
P.S. I almost forgot, while you are healing, don’t be too hard on yourself. Dance through the process. There is no timeline.