It’s funny to think about this, but I used to believe that you have to be open with your feelings. And when I say open, I mean, really open. Being open by saying what you feel when you feel it. That mantra is still going strong up until today, but a new perspective has shown up.
You see, it’s beautiful. Being able to say you’re hurt when someone hurt you. Being able to say you’re happy when someone made you happy. I think that it’s not just amazing, but it’s the right thing to do. But just like any other situation, there’s always an exception.
One day, you’ll meet someone who will make you feel that keeping your emotions to yourself is the better idea than actually sharing them. You’re actually going to meet a lot of people who will make you feel like that, but oftentimes, it takes only one person to really impose the notion.
You feel like talking to someone you can’t reach or get a grasp of because it always seems like his mind is wandering in a very far galaxy and no matter how much you try, he won’t let you have a peak.
You look at his eyes and they are looking at something that seems to exist in another dimension.
And when you finally get to talk, the wavelengths don’t just align. No matter how much you want to, the connection seems fuzzy. The connection isn’t just there anymore. The connection that seems everything but dull before, IT IS NOT THERE ANYMORE.
You may want to address the changes, especially to him. At the same time, you want to tell him things, like a lot of things. You want to tell him what you felt before and what you’re feeling now. You want to talk about the things you’re both talking about before, but things seem to have changed, so you’re left wondering…if the person changed, does it mean that everything that have transpired are gone as well?
Questions keep piling up, until there’s no more to fight for because all you have accumulated is a pile of dead-ends.
So you’ve finally reached the conclusion that, yes, maybe it’s really best to “bottle up” what you’re feeling and keep them in a safe place, faraway from everyone, even you, yourself, because the person you want to talk to…he’s gone.