A collection of truths that will be shared to you for 30 empowering days. This book will give you the feels!
30 Days to Overcoming Addictive Behavior is a book that will help anyone who is undergoing a dilemma because of a strong addictive behavior. A toxic inclination that’s been ruining a life for quite a long time now.
It was written by Dr. Tony Evans. He is a founder and senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, founder and president of The Urban Alternative, chaplain of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, and author of the The Power of God’s Names and Victory in Spiritual Warfare. His radio broadcast, The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, can be heard on more than 1000 U.S. outlets daily and in more than 130 countries.
He wrote this book that will take you to explore different aspects of your life in order to counteract an addiction that you’re experiencing, whatever kind it is. These aspects include taking control of your mind, your identity, fear, worry, self-esteem, hope, jealousy, contentment, and faith. For 30 days, Evans will be with you as he tells you God’s truths that will lift you up from the pit of your despair.
An addiction stems from something and you need to get to that in order to solve the problem. You’re going to do it as you look at everything with God’s eye view not with yours. God says that don’t let what you’re seeing or feeling to make you forget what He said. It’s important to always seek Him in all the things in your life, especially during the bad times. These bad times always make as astray for some time, but we’re surely going to get back on the right road if we just hold on to God.
You may be thinking, why do I have this book in the first place? Yes, it may be hard to think that an innocent looking girl like me has some sort of addiction, but I do have. I have been addicted to someone and it’s been taking tolls in a lot of areas in my life. A very good friend of mine gave this book to me as a birthday gift and she just confirmed that I really do have an addiction that I need to address. It woke me up.
It would be very lengthy if I will narrate the whole story of this addiction, so I won’t do that. But to make it short, it was an addiction towards the idea of something that isn’t the reality. It’s an addiction to what was already lost. It’s an addiction to what could have been. It’s an addiction that happened because of past wounds and issues that, fortunately, are being addressed now (better late than never). It’s an addiction that happened out of a relationship that has a lot of good memories with it despite the not-so-good ones. An addiction towards a relationship that despite the heartbreak that it brought, has taught me a lot of things that are really a source of an immense and needed growth.
It was an out-of-nowhere, spontaneous, carefree, toxic, but teaching relationship. I have no regrets except the times that I should’ve thought better for myself.
One day, I just realized that I need to move forward and heal with a heart that may be broken, but is surely full of gratitude. Funny thing though, I thought that I was already okay after I implemented a 30 Day, No Contact Rule with this person. After that period, he suddenly came back and I’m back in my addicted self again. But this time, I know better now. Hopefully, this recovery is the last one.
So going back to the main sections of this book, let’s talk about the first which is TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR MIND. From Day 1 to 7, you will be taught how to control your mind as it influences everything in your life. What you think is how you’ll act. Your addiction stems from a wrongful pattern of thinking. You need to stop it. No one can do it for you. You have to step up and see the truth of the situation by assessing all angles. I’ve always read how powerful our brain is because what we feed it, it readily consumes. On my story, taking control of my mind includes admitting all the reasons why I got attached towards the person in the first place as well as amplifying the mindset that I can get over the addiction because it’s just a temporary phase that won’t bring me down much further.
The second one is YOUR IDENTITY. From Day 8 to 10, you will be taught to remember who you are in the family of God and the power that goes along with it. Jesus has died to save all of humanity. With your acceptance of him in your life, you’re saved a space in heaven. It means that you’ll never be forsaken here on Earth. You have a backup friend. As a member of God’s family, you can withstand all the challenges that the wretched world will throw upon you because you have His grace. In my part, it’s relieving to know that I have someone to share my burden with. And it’s not just someone! It’s God!
The third one is FEAR. From Day 11 to 13, you will be taught to know that God is in control of everything, so you need not to worry. It made me lay back and just breathe because, ultimately, He is doing actions on my behalf. I do have fears that I won’t be able to get over this person or I’ll be forever doomed in a state of longing and defeat. Add the other things that I’m afraid of that aren’t happening yet. I used to be an aggressive overthinker. Funnily enough, this person or my relationship with him has taught me to calm down the neurons in my brain. But sometimes, I go back to my past self and just think of things too much that ends up with me fearing insignificant things.
The fourth one is WORRY. From Day 14 to 16, you will be taught about worrying and it stems from actually mocking God that He can’t rise up for your situation. It goes hand in hand with the previous FEAR section.
The fifth one is SELF-ESTEEM. From Day 17 to 19, you will be taught that you are a masterpiece. It implies that you shouldn’t, in anyway, look down upon yourself especially in the midst of an addiction when everything around you seems to be falling apart and not going in the direction that you desire. On my story, I can’t tell how much I battled to not let the situation to tear my self-esteem down. It was an exhausting battle. Just when I thought that I’m okay, I’ll learn about something new with regards to this person, and I’ll be sad again. I’ll belittle myself with thoughts of guilt and unworthiness. I know better now. My self-esteem is based, not on anything, but on the truth that I’m someone deemed worthy by our Creator.
The sixth one is HOPE. From Day 20 to 22, you will be taught to “hope against hope” a statement derived from Romans 4: 18. It means hoping when there is no hope to have. I actually picked the word “Hope” to be one of my nicknames. I love it. I love its meaning. I love how strong it is. In this world of us, hope is something that we all need. To be honest, picking the word as a favorite and actually using it as a nickname, is what makes me fight back when life is tearing me down. I don’t want to embarrass myself that I’ll just flip out even if I am “hope” myself. This section is generally preaching that you always have a second chance at everything as well as a third and a fourth and a fifth one. The list goes long. You can stand right up every time you fall. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. The thing that matters is you pick yourself up as you learn and grow and change for the better.
The seventh one is JEALOUSY. From Day 23 to 25, you will be taught that jealousy stems from the lack of contentment. Lack of contentment means you don’t believe that what God has provided you is enough. It’s mocking him again, like He doesn’t know what He’s doing. On my part, I had a hard time dealing with the fact that the other people involved in our relationship have what they want while I don’t. It hurt me. Now, from time to time, I still get upset. But I finally get to the place where it doesn’t bother me that much anymore because, as cliché as this may sound, I see things clearly now.
The eight one is CONTENTMENT. From Day 26 to 28, you will be taught that fulfillment is something that you must feel whatever circumstance you are in your life. This is hard especially during your addiction. But the fact that you are addicted to something, it means that you’re looking outwardly to satisfy your needs and wants. What an unhealthy behavior! Fulfillment is something that you must root right from the inside. It means that holding on the truth that right from the very start, you got everything you need. Not getting what you want in life, or not getting it just yet, doesn’t mean that you’re incomplete. You are enough already. You are whole already. You just have to live through life here on this world with that mindset.
The last one is FAITH. On Day 29 to 30, you will be taught that you need to have faith or “the assurance of things hoped for” as what Hebrews 11:1 says. He will do all His promises. He will sustain you all throughout up until the end.
I just recently finished the book and my addictive behavior towards this person is not yet healed. But I can assure you that I’m different now because of what I learned throughout the relationship itself and by the help of this book. Usually, when I have a problem, I can’t function anymore as I’ll see my whole self to be undergoing the said dilemma. That was me before. But now, I see myself outside the problem and it’s delivering things in huge, different, and better ways than how things were before. I see my heart in front of me, broken and bleeding, but that’s just it. I can still function and I’m still genuinely happy despite what I’m going through. During my tough times before, I end up healing after a long process of despair wherein I’m lost the whole journey. This time, I’m proud to say that my senses are working. I’m fully conscious. I’m waiting for my recovery, actively, not passively.
I want to thank Dr. Evans for putting all these together to help people like me. I’m not ashamed of this addiction that’s why I’m speaking up about it. I made some mistakes and a lot of shortcomings happened as a result, but I don’t regret putting my heart on my sleeve. I don’t know when is the exact time and day where I’m going to be 101% okay, but I know I’m getting there. I will, no matter how long it takes.
Featured photo of Dr. Tony Evans from Facebook/ Tony Evans